Self-Harm Reduction | Sober October

Greetings, Beautiful Beings, Bienvenido!

Moon Phase: Waxing Moon
Sun Phase: after Autumnal Equinox
Prayer: May you explore the depths of yourself.

Thank you so much for journeying with me. Last Sun cycle I am tracked my emotions, deepening into sadness. Currently I am grieving the profound losses that must fall away for newness to fill the space. Join our Seed Pod Giving Tree for more of the details on my process. Here I want to offer you tools to reduce harm in your life.

What is harm reduction? Designed to lessen the negative social, mental, spiritual and/or physical consequences associated with various human behaviors and relationships.

We uplift harm reduction instead of sobriety. Mainly because I do not want to give up anything entirely. I want to focus on cultivating and sustaining, nourishing, balanced relationships with my vices. Vices are anything you interact with especially in a compulsive way. My vices are scratching, alcohol, shopping, t.h.c. marijuana, suicide/self harm, television, and romantic relationships. Since 2021, I been slowly evaluating each vice and remedying our relationship. Along my journey I noticed removing scratching without figuring out the why or root caused me to (with ease) transition into a different toxic relationship. Which for me was hair pulling. Partially why I went bald. More on my hair journey in this video.

First identify your vices. Then evaluate each one based on your current relationship. Also noticing the evolution of the relationship. Be clear about your intentions for the new relationship you are cultivating.

Evaluation: experiment, use, dependency, addiction, Substantial withdrawal

Most relationships start with some type of experimentation. Learning about the vice and how it interacts with your unique body, mind, spirit. For me at this moment is blooming house plants and making beeswax candles. Which may become use. You find out the vice benefits you. For me this is meditation, peeing outside and making vegetable stock. This can be fairly new vices or things you pick up and drop depending our your mood. The next stage is dependency. The benefits are so lush you add it to your routine. For me this is herbal medicine and lighting candles. This is where the harm may form with addiction. A compulsion may form, or a desire based on a root issue you are avoiding. For me this is apparent in all the vices I initially listed. I am concluding my 3 Sun cycles of talk therapy to unravel my trauma and how it is now safe to drop my vices. Bah! Who am I kidding. I am still find myself having to make healthy decision in every moment as I integrate in new habits. The most severe relationship with vices is when we can not end the relationship without substantial withdrawal. Which for me might be television. I have gone about 5 years without cinema in my 20s. So I hope for the best although I have to be real. It is the last vice I will tackle and most likely the most difficult to reduce consumption.

After you figure out your vices and you evaluate your relationship to each one you can track your vices based on the aspects below. The tracking system is what you will use to figure out why you indulge and what areas to address to restructure your interactions.

Tracking areas for each vice:

Fears, Grieving, Secrets, Desires, Expressing(ion), Trauma, Triggers, Patterns, Messages.

How I engage with the tracking system. Before I interact with my vice, I log one thing that is coming up for me in my trackable areas. After about 10 engagements with my vice I have a well-rounded sense of what is going on in my relationship with each vice. What my fears are, what I am grieving, what I desire, what secrets are being held, what wants to be expressed, past traumas I am medicating, what triggers me, what patterns show up and what messages are being expressed. I always allow myself to partake in my vices when I want, although before I do I write at least one word on my tracking system. Some of my self reflection was generational or my parents perspectives or societal or my internal thoughts. Most were deep, connected, festering. Others I passed easily through to the other side with my support system.

Once I have some areas filled in I work with a therapist. You can also work with a journal, self-reflection, Nature, Spirit Realm, family and friends to address your relationships with each vice. I started with the easy ones, two Sun cycles ago, and now I am working through the most difficult one, television. For television I started with big, over arching concepts. Logged a few things on my tracker and waited till i had the capacity to explore more. I believe I have an unhealthy relationship with shopping, although I do not have the money to really over indulge. So this vice, shopping, has been challenging in non-emotional ways. This vice really supported me figuring out edge or line between healthy and toxic and the nuance.

I will leave you with some positivity. With the above tools I now have more balance and nourishment in my relationships with shopping, suicide/self harm, alcohol, television, and t.h.c. marijuana! I learned these tools from an Addiction Coach although we did not vibe so I had to drop them. I did, however, add these tools to my care practice continuing to remedy my relationships to my vices. You may be wondering about my relationship to romantic relationships. Hah! Just, now, added it to my tracking tool as one of my vices! It has taken me a while to admit this relationship has issues to tend.

This Moon cycle challenge yourself to identify your vices and begin tracking them. You deserve healthy relationships!

Junto Siempre!

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